” Curable.. Your cancer is curable”. I held on to the word every day of the months since the Doctors looked at the computer screen with the picture of the cancer. I hold onto the word today.
I keep wondering if I should even write about this, much less put it on the website blog. This site is about photography, not so much about the other things that happen in my life, but perhaps the long absence of entries need to be explained.
A few weeks morea year ago, I went to the doctor. There was a lump on the left side of my neck and I wanted to get it checked. The doctor, who is a cheerful person, said that it was probably nothing and that was probably from a slight infection. I knew that it was a lymph node and that it should not be enlarged and that I had not had any kind of an infection. Now as I look back, I had been a bit tired and off and on felt as though I were about to get a cold for a month or so.
So there were tests.
About three tests in there were cancer cells were found. And that put me into the Cancer System. Only two days later, I was in the office of the Oncologist. The cancer was located in my throat. Talking to the Oncologist and the Radiologists, the plan was put together to have six weeks or so of Radiation and Chemotherapy. And that at the end of the treatment, I would be cured. They were very clear about that.
I have always been really healthy and when I have been ill, recovered almost immediately. So I assumed that I would fly through the treatment and a week later be back to normal. It was not to be that simple. By the middle of the treatment I could barely function. It was the hardest physical challenge I have faced. Other people had to drive me to the treatments. I would come home and sleep all day on the sofa in the big family room until it was time to go to bed. The time came when I could not eat or speak. A feeding tube. Writing notes. I looked ahead to my final day of radiation, assuming that I would begin to feel perfect on the next day. but it was several months before I really started to feel somewhat “normal”. Things as simple as climbing stairs made me tired. At about five months I began to function as I had always. The day I ran down the stairs was wonderful. Each month I have tests and there is no more sign of any cancer. Am I cured?
Ask in a year.
Ask in two years.
I could not work. I did not pick up a camera for months
Now I am nine months past treatment I seem to have my old energy back and starting to work again as the winter goes away. I can see the bare branches once more. A few weeks ago I helped to video a wedding with the video crew, I have the urge to clean out, to organize things in the house and perhaps even to move. I have cleaned and cleaned every corner of the house and am getting rid of the extra things that build up in a house, year by year. I have an urge to simplify my life. It is as if I have left one place and now am in another newer place I have not been in before. The future is uncertain, but it is always uncertain and I do not have to worry about it.
NOW I MUST GET BACK TO WORK AGAIN.